or how our merry lads at hame,

in britain's court kept up the game;

how royal george, the lord leuk o'er him!

was managing st. stephen's quorum;

if sleekit chatham will was livin,

or glaikit charlie got his nieve in;

how daddie burke the plea was cookin,

if warren hasting's neck was yeukin;

how cesses, stents, and fees were rax'd.

or if bare arses yet were tax'd;

the news o' princes, dukes, and earls,

pimps, sharpers, bawds, and opera-girls;

if that daft buckie, geordie wales,

was threshing still at hizzies' tails;

or if he was grown oughtlins douser,

and no a perfect kintra cooser:

a' this and mair i never heard of;

and, but for you, i might despair'd of.

so, gratefu', back your news i send you,

and pray a' gude things may attend you.

ellisland, monday morning, 1790.