or knappin-hammers.
a set o' dull, conceited hashes
confuse their brains in college classes!
they gang in stirks, ande out asses,
plain truth to speak;
an' syne they think to climb parnassus
by dint o' greek!
gie me ae spark o' nature's fire,
that's a' the learning i desire;
then tho' i drudge thro' dub an' mire
at pleugh or cart,
my muse, tho' hamely in attire,
may touch the heart.
o for a spunk o' allan's glee,
or fergusson's the bauld an' slee,
or bright lapraik's, my friend to be,
if i can hit it!
that would be lear eneugh for me,
if i could get it.
now, sir, if ye hae friends enow,
tho' real friends, i b'lieve, are few;
yet, if your catalogue be fu',
i'se no insist:
but, gif ye want ae friend that's true,
i'm on your list.
i winna blaw about mysel,
as ill i like my fauts to tell;
but friends, an' folk that wish me well,
they sometimes roose me;
tho' i maun own, as mony still
as far abuse me.
there's ae wee faut they whiles lay to me,
i like the lasses—gude forgie me!
for mony a plack they wheedle frae me
at dance or fair;
maybe some ither thing they gie me,
they weel can spare.
but mauchline race, or mauchline fair,
i should be proud to meet you there;
we'se gie ae night's discharge to care,
if we forgather;
an' hae a swap o' rhymin-ware
wi' ane anither.
the four-gill chap, we'se gar him clatter,
an' kirsen him wi' reekin water;
syne we'll sit down an' tak our whitter,
to cheer our heart;
an' faith, we'se be acquainted better
before we part.
awa ye selfish, war'ly race,
wha think that havins, sense, an' grace,
ev'n love an' friendship should give place
to catch—the—plack!
i dinna like to see your face,
nor hear your crack.
but ye whom social pleasure charms
whose hearts the tide of kindness warms,
who hold your being on the terms,
“each aid the others,”
 e to my bowl,e to my arms,
my friends, my brothers!
but, to conclude my lang epistle,
as my auld pen's worn to the gristle,
twa lines frae you wad gar me fissle,
who am, most fervent,
while i can either sing or whistle,
your friend and servant.